Memories.

http://fearless-bubba.livejournal.com

Wow. Live Journal? Who remembers those? I know I do. I remember when they were the "fad", before myspace, twitter, facebook, and blogspot. I used to update like once a day, on a regular basis. I was consistant. Unlike on here. Maybe it was 'cause I was in high school and only school was my priority? I didn't work. I wasn't in college. It was a laid back, great life. I miss those days.
Before I just updated, it had been 144 weeks since my last LJ post. That's since April 10th, 2006. Before I even graduated. I remember awhile back I went through and deleted A LOT of post, I mean A LOOOOOOOT. Stuff I did not want to remember. It had to be done. Now I kinda wish I did not do that so I could remember my foolish times and stuff. I think I seen somewhere I posted 200-300 entries. You won't even see 100 probably anymore. I felt like it had to be done back whenever, but now I regret it.

Times change so much; it puzzles me. It is funny all of a sudden I felt like digging up my old username and password for live journal. Over the past week something has been heavily on my mind. And that is the Air Force. I go to my live journal tonight and see my backround of an Air Force picture. I remember all through high school that was my plan. Joining the US Air Force. I did not follow through with that plan. But this past week, I don't know why, but it's come back into play. At Publix you cannot be demoted or fired if you are on military leave. I don't know why, but I have been contemplating joining again. I talk to my father about it and he approves. And though that's what I was gonna do to begin with, after high school. If I joined after high school I'd be over 1/2 way done with my 4 year term. That makes me more frustrated. I don't really know what else to say except pray with me about that decision, it's a pretty big one lol. And hopefully it comes soon so I can try and get to Texas for BMT before it gets too incredibily hot during summer, hah.

Random tidbits: I planned on seeing My Bloody Valentine tonight. I was going to be accompanied by Mark Davis and Marty. Well, that sold out fast. So it was decided to see The Unborn. aaaaand that sold out. So we ended up seeing Gran Turino. Wow. I loved it. I thought Clint Eastwood did a really amazing job at his role. It was a lot more funny than I expected. It was great. I am a pretty big Clint Eastwood fan. He is a great actor with a lot of talent. I'd give it a 5 star rating. I'd even see it again. It had a twist. It had tears. It had smiles. It had big laughs. It was surprising. It was great. Go see it, seriously.


I think that covers all I should be posting at 2am. I'm not super tired so I think I may go play a game of Madden 2009 for ps3. Hmm. Sounds good. Tomorrow I shall be going to Winter Jam. That should be thrilling!

Hope everyone has a fun but safe weekend!

Until next time, ciao!

Ps: In case you don't know about it, here is the trailer for Gran Turino!
Trailer for Gran Turino

Ironic?

I find it quite ironic that the day after I post a blog saying I shall stick with Publix, I have what I believe is the worse day ever at work. I was scheduled to work 5am to 4pm. It's Friday which = truck day. The morning went smoothly til 10:30am or so. When the dairy truck arrive, I totally dumped over the pallet. Disaster. Really frustrated me. Especially seeing the bills and a 285 piece truck which is HUGE for a Friday, typically 185-215 on Friday. So much backstock, it isn't funny. Anyway, I come back to have eggs to off stack as that truck came while I was on break. This is disaster # 2. I knock over 2 stacks of eggs. Which about 30-35 cartons of 12 eggs broke and I had to scan out. Not counting the 6 packs that broke. And of course the 2 store managers and my grocery manager come back there and give me a hard time, by saying it looks like I am trying to scramble eggs lol. It was funny, regarding the situation. Anyway, the day goes on and I am not in a good mood at all. I didn't clock out until 6:20pm. I went in at 5:00am remember, it was dark. I left after 6, which it was dark again. I never seen daylight really today. Such a long discouraging day after my blog saying what I felt was the right choice last night.

-I-R-O-N-I-C- lol. It's funny how moods can totally change and differentiate in the matter of about 12 hours. How many times has this happened to you? Where you've felt like you did the right thing, to only have the opposite, like in my case, happen? I had quite a aggravating day, I acutally told JJ to just shoot me after the egg incident, haha. He knows all about it. But now, I've been off work for almost 2 hours and I laugh at what happened today. There were a lot of jokes with my mistakes and it made others laugh, but now I laugh upon the day too. It was so stressful at the time i had a bad bad headache, but its nice to kick back and relax now and look at how humerous it really was.

have you experienced days like that lately? How'd you manage to get through the stress of what was going on to be able to do away with that?

Song of the day!
I don't care by Apocalyptica

I'm Sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say.

Ah life. Life. Life. Life. Life is full of change. Oh boy is it! I think come next semester, well, after this semester like December 15th I will be making changes with life. Currently I work "Full-Time" and attend school full-time. it consumes a great portion of life. It can be stressful at times, but I am managing. I think I am almost certain I wish to pursue a career with Publix. I know I complain a lot but overall, I am satisfied there. I make good money [only to get better], I already get full-benefits [health,vision,dental insurance, stock, etc] even as part-time. The job doesn't frustrate me, mainly the people most of the time. And lately I've been really thinking that this is what I want to do. I am not going to just dump school completely, but I have come up with a plan. I will work full-time at Publix as I progress my way into management as a Grocery Team Leader and so on. I currently work 4 days, so I have 3 days off, I will find a part-time job at like, best buy or circuit city, office depot, home depot, somewhere like that for 2 of the days. maybe 3. That way I will be able to have a good amount of money coming in to pay my credit cards down, and put money into savings for the future. I am figuring a less-serious part time job would be less stressful as fulltime work and school as well. I plan on taking 1-2 online classes spring semester. And that's my life plan for now haha. It just might change. Until then, we will see.

And for other news: Shedding of the shell.

Something I've begun to do. I typically am the person to just sit back, keep emotions/feelings to myself. But, in one case i realized that HAD to change. I had to get out something to an old friend. It was one of the hardest things I typed, and it was even harder to click the "send message" button. But I did it. No turning back. I had put it off for days. I shall not go into details other than what I've just said. But I felt a relief of finally after a long time getting something out to someone. It felt good. Now just gotta "see where the road leads" :-)

lol. I'm pretty sure that's all I got to say for tonight. I made a record for me with 3 blogs in 1 month I think! Haha. And as my new tradition I will leave you with some songs that I'm currently digging. So check them out, if you wish.

To all have a splendid night and a great day tomorrow! As I shall try as I continue on my path down my newly discovered road. I am starting to see pavement as the dirt covering my path fades away..

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus- Your Guardian Angel
Your Guardian Angel Lyrics-

Limp Bizkit- Behind Blue Eyes
Behind Blue Eyes Lyrics-

Anberlin- The Promise ----Top Song of the Day. Takes Words from my Lips.----
The Promise Lyrics-

And one last thing. Please watch this video. It gave me chills the first time I saw it. It's made me think about the way I drive. Seriously, you never know. And also if you do watch it, it has "Your Guardian Angel" as the song in backround, so you won't need to go to youtube for that one. But I recommend watching this video about a car crash of a SRT-4 Dodge Neon. Seriously. It may make ya think twice about just how crazy you drive.
SRT-4 Dodge Neon Crash. When Tragedy Strikes Unexpectedly during a little bit of "Driving Fun".

Firing an Empty Gun.

In a song I heard today it had this line in it; "The self deprication of What you put your faith in
Has brought you to your knees.You're waiting at the starting line, What if the gun is empty?"

I don't know why that stood out so much to me. I really like those last two lines. What if the gun is empty and your at the starting line?

You will just never get going then and will be stuck there forever. You gotta take it upon yourself to run and reach forward on your own.

That's all I have to share today.

I would like your thoughts on your interpretation of that quote from the song.

What do you think it means?????

And I Will Get Lost in YOUR Eyes and Everything Will be Alright.

This has been far, far over do right Taylor? No more bugging me to update my blog, ha-ha... I think it's been since August when I said so much on my mind and I never said any more about that. I sit here in the library at SPC [St. Pete College for those who lack that intelligence of knowing the greatest college ever]. I have time to waste in between classes every Tuesday and Thursday. And today as I have my itunes on, a song by Lifehouse called "Storm" which I recommend checking out.

In my short 20 years and 5ish months of breathing air, I have been through more than I would've thought. There's been the ups and downs, the happy and sad times. The good the bad. A lot of kids growing up cannot wait until the day they turn 18. They think that is when their "good" life begins. I was one of those kids. I couldn't wait until June 19th, 2006 when I turned 18. Boy do I regret that. I wasn't in a hurry to be 18 to purchase cigarettes, because I do not smoke. I wasn't in a hurry to purchase lotto tickets, because I am just not into that [although an occasional ticket I do purchase or a scratch off. What's a dollar or two here or there?]. I wasn't in a hurry to turn 18 to go "clubbing", because that is just not my style. I still haven't been to a club yet. As I look back today I wonder what was it that made me want to grow up so fast. Turning 18, and 19, and 20 as I did this year hasn't been so amazing as I expected. Turning 18 brought: a job, job stress, credit card bills, cell phone bills, gas bills, college, college stress, college expenses,and much more expenses. Granted growing up is not bad at all. But the one thing about growing older that I should be experiencing most of is as I grow older and gain knowledge my walk in Christ and relationship with God should increase. That is the bright side of growing up. But for me, I have not led that part of my life out. I have had my moments where I've walked side-by-side with Christ. Where all I wanted to do was grow in Him. Then I would fall away and slowly come back only to fall again. I can say now I am at one of the points where I am at the ground level, you can say I am below sea level trying to find a way to be up above it again. I've become comfortable with my life. I work full-time. I go to college full-time. I fit friends in when I can. Church has faded to the back of my mind. I lost interest in going on Sunday's because of working so late on Saturdays and needing rest, especially when I would be working again on Sunday. I just want to live a good life, have fun, and be succesful. And I've been texting with a close friend today, cause her and I struggle with a lot of the same stuff which makes us really good friends I would think. I love getting to talk to her because it's like a vent time. To encourage one another. I've been giving advice today that I need to give myself. I need to take my own advice. With the work and school aspect of my life; I have not a clue what I want to do with my career. Right now Publix is #1 choice to stick it out and get into management. It's got more positive things in doing that than bad. But as I gave in the advice, it can't be about the money we'd like to make, for no matter our income if we stick next to God and keep our faith then He will provide us with all we need. Having him in our heart is worth more than any amount of money you can make in a job. I apologize for going off on tangents in this blog but there is a lot I want to get out and if it comes through my head, I'm going to go that way. Oh, and Lifehouse is the best band ever I am coming to see. So many amazing songs. I'm hooked. "Broken", "Everything", "Storm", I can put into my life in my own interpretatoin of the songs. Anyway. Earlier this year I was beginning to grow. I was doing devos every day. I was getting life on track. Then bam! Brick wall. Knocked out. And I've not come out since. I haven't looked at a devo book that I have in many,many months. I've fallen apart. It might now always appear that way on the outside, but if you could see inside me I am one broken man. Hmmm. I had to walk from the library to my class to be able to continue this since my class started at 4 and I lost my train of thought. This Western Humanities teacher is crazy and gets me off track. But anyway.

I struggle with not knowing what career to pursue. My current ideas in no order: US Air Force, Publix management, some sort of computer work like computer programmar or graphics designer. Those are my top choices. But I just don't know what I wanna do. Errr what God wants me to do. Do I stay at SPC and possible waste my time as I go into a career at Publix? Or do I do another desire and go to ITT-Tech and learn computer work, and have the extra knowledge regardless of my career. Orrrrrr do I go to P-tech and do like auto mechanics, and still be benefited by having knowledge of automobiles which will still help if I stay with Publix. I just don't know what path to take, whichever God may be leading. Dang this blog is getting long, i guess I should do this more frequently ;-P



Have you ever run across these struggles? Not knowing what path to take in life? I sure have. And I am currently seeking out the right direction to take. I know it says in scripture "I can do all things through Christ who Strenghtens me" but it's hard to stick to that sometimes. When work, school, friends, family, life all together stresses you it makes you feel like giving up. Calling in sick. Skipping that class. Not responding to that text. Locking yourself in your room. I know that feeling all to well. I just don't know enough scripture to try and help give me encouragement to get through stress and struggles. So if you know some good verses, or shoot, even good BOOKS to read, comment me them. I'll be interested.

I need to step up on P-game [Prayer game]. that may help my focus help clear up. God's path might just shine through. But until then I shall keep going to SPC [for now] and work on getting promoted into management at Publix as Grocery Team Leader.

Maybe it won't be so many months that I update now, but with full-time work and school, what better way to relax than to type up a blog. Challenge you. Challenge me. Throw ideas out there.

My challenge this post is: I want you to challenge me to step up. Hold me accountable. I might not make it to church every week, I still need to keep my life together at home,work and school.

So that is that. This is this. I am out of here. I think I should pay a little bit of attention in class at least, right? ...............nahhhhhh whats the point? ;-)

You know I just realized I have typed all this and did not mention 1 thing about the election? dang. Shows the election isn't too strongly on my mind, even though it should be. I will not be voting this election, as I don't want to rush to vote for someone who I don't know much about either. I know in my mind who I would vote for from the info I know, and I like the vice president running to, she seems good. Your typical person, like one of us. I like her. and him. yeah..... hehe. But anyway. It is a big day in history. It really is a big election not just for who is taking over but also we will have the first African-American president, or the first female vice president. Either way, history is in the making. It really is too close to call. no one is blowing away the other. It will be interesting to see who pulls it out tonight. All this anticipation leading up to tonight is crazy.

Obama vs McCain. who will be on top? Only God knows the paths their life will take. Just like only He knows my path.

OH. listen to these songs. Maybe I'll put 5 top songs I recommend to listen to?

Lifehouse-Storm
Lifehouse-Everything[Here is the awesome skit]
Lifehouse- Everything[normal music video]
Lifehouse-Broken
Framing Hanley- Hear Me Now
Mat Kearney- Tomorrow

That will conclude this over long blog. Oh man I didn't even mention the Rays either. Maybe text time. I am about to bounce out of class. Have a good election day.

I bid you farewell.

rat-a-tat-tat.

I've been wanting to blog for weeks now. There's just a ton of stuff on my mind in many areas of my life. I'm just not sure how to say all I want to say. It's getting frustrating. I guess I'll hold off until later when I can come up with what I wanna say...

This made me laugh =]

oh you iphone-addicts...