Tuesday, November 4, 2008

And I Will Get Lost in YOUR Eyes and Everything Will be Alright.

This has been far, far over do right Taylor? No more bugging me to update my blog, ha-ha... I think it's been since August when I said so much on my mind and I never said any more about that. I sit here in the library at SPC [St. Pete College for those who lack that intelligence of knowing the greatest college ever]. I have time to waste in between classes every Tuesday and Thursday. And today as I have my itunes on, a song by Lifehouse called "Storm" which I recommend checking out.

In my short 20 years and 5ish months of breathing air, I have been through more than I would've thought. There's been the ups and downs, the happy and sad times. The good the bad. A lot of kids growing up cannot wait until the day they turn 18. They think that is when their "good" life begins. I was one of those kids. I couldn't wait until June 19th, 2006 when I turned 18. Boy do I regret that. I wasn't in a hurry to be 18 to purchase cigarettes, because I do not smoke. I wasn't in a hurry to purchase lotto tickets, because I am just not into that [although an occasional ticket I do purchase or a scratch off. What's a dollar or two here or there?]. I wasn't in a hurry to turn 18 to go "clubbing", because that is just not my style. I still haven't been to a club yet. As I look back today I wonder what was it that made me want to grow up so fast. Turning 18, and 19, and 20 as I did this year hasn't been so amazing as I expected. Turning 18 brought: a job, job stress, credit card bills, cell phone bills, gas bills, college, college stress, college expenses,and much more expenses. Granted growing up is not bad at all. But the one thing about growing older that I should be experiencing most of is as I grow older and gain knowledge my walk in Christ and relationship with God should increase. That is the bright side of growing up. But for me, I have not led that part of my life out. I have had my moments where I've walked side-by-side with Christ. Where all I wanted to do was grow in Him. Then I would fall away and slowly come back only to fall again. I can say now I am at one of the points where I am at the ground level, you can say I am below sea level trying to find a way to be up above it again. I've become comfortable with my life. I work full-time. I go to college full-time. I fit friends in when I can. Church has faded to the back of my mind. I lost interest in going on Sunday's because of working so late on Saturdays and needing rest, especially when I would be working again on Sunday. I just want to live a good life, have fun, and be succesful. And I've been texting with a close friend today, cause her and I struggle with a lot of the same stuff which makes us really good friends I would think. I love getting to talk to her because it's like a vent time. To encourage one another. I've been giving advice today that I need to give myself. I need to take my own advice. With the work and school aspect of my life; I have not a clue what I want to do with my career. Right now Publix is #1 choice to stick it out and get into management. It's got more positive things in doing that than bad. But as I gave in the advice, it can't be about the money we'd like to make, for no matter our income if we stick next to God and keep our faith then He will provide us with all we need. Having him in our heart is worth more than any amount of money you can make in a job. I apologize for going off on tangents in this blog but there is a lot I want to get out and if it comes through my head, I'm going to go that way. Oh, and Lifehouse is the best band ever I am coming to see. So many amazing songs. I'm hooked. "Broken", "Everything", "Storm", I can put into my life in my own interpretatoin of the songs. Anyway. Earlier this year I was beginning to grow. I was doing devos every day. I was getting life on track. Then bam! Brick wall. Knocked out. And I've not come out since. I haven't looked at a devo book that I have in many,many months. I've fallen apart. It might now always appear that way on the outside, but if you could see inside me I am one broken man. Hmmm. I had to walk from the library to my class to be able to continue this since my class started at 4 and I lost my train of thought. This Western Humanities teacher is crazy and gets me off track. But anyway.

I struggle with not knowing what career to pursue. My current ideas in no order: US Air Force, Publix management, some sort of computer work like computer programmar or graphics designer. Those are my top choices. But I just don't know what I wanna do. Errr what God wants me to do. Do I stay at SPC and possible waste my time as I go into a career at Publix? Or do I do another desire and go to ITT-Tech and learn computer work, and have the extra knowledge regardless of my career. Orrrrrr do I go to P-tech and do like auto mechanics, and still be benefited by having knowledge of automobiles which will still help if I stay with Publix. I just don't know what path to take, whichever God may be leading. Dang this blog is getting long, i guess I should do this more frequently ;-P

Have you ever run across these struggles? Not knowing what path to take in life? I sure have. And I am currently seeking out the right direction to take. I know it says in scripture "I can do all things through Christ who Strenghtens me" but it's hard to stick to that sometimes. When work, school, friends, family, life all together stresses you it makes you feel like giving up. Calling in sick. Skipping that class. Not responding to that text. Locking yourself in your room. I know that feeling all to well. I just don't know enough scripture to try and help give me encouragement to get through stress and struggles. So if you know some good verses, or shoot, even good BOOKS to read, comment me them. I'll be interested.

I need to step up on P-game [Prayer game]. that may help my focus help clear up. God's path might just shine through. But until then I shall keep going to SPC [for now] and work on getting promoted into management at Publix as Grocery Team Leader.

Maybe it won't be so many months that I update now, but with full-time work and school, what better way to relax than to type up a blog. Challenge you. Challenge me. Throw ideas out there.

My challenge this post is: I want you to challenge me to step up. Hold me accountable. I might not make it to church every week, I still need to keep my life together at home,work and school.

So that is that. This is this. I am out of here. I think I should pay a little bit of attention in class at least, right? ...............nahhhhhh whats the point? ;-)

You know I just realized I have typed all this and did not mention 1 thing about the election? dang. Shows the election isn't too strongly on my mind, even though it should be. I will not be voting this election, as I don't want to rush to vote for someone who I don't know much about either. I know in my mind who I would vote for from the info I know, and I like the vice president running to, she seems good. Your typical person, like one of us. I like her. and him. yeah..... hehe. But anyway. It is a big day in history. It really is a big election not just for who is taking over but also we will have the first African-American president, or the first female vice president. Either way, history is in the making. It really is too close to call. no one is blowing away the other. It will be interesting to see who pulls it out tonight. All this anticipation leading up to tonight is crazy.

Obama vs McCain. who will be on top? Only God knows the paths their life will take. Just like only He knows my path.

OH. listen to these songs. Maybe I'll put 5 top songs I recommend to listen to?

Lifehouse-Everything[Here is the awesome skit]
Lifehouse- Everything[normal music video]
Framing Hanley- Hear Me Now
Mat Kearney- Tomorrow

That will conclude this over long blog. Oh man I didn't even mention the Rays either. Maybe text time. I am about to bounce out of class. Have a good election day.

I bid you farewell.


A visible Ghost said...

Yay you finally updated!!!!!

:-):-):-):-) I'm terrible at leaving comments that reflect on posts, but I enjoyed it.

Beth said...

Wow, that was literally all over the place. Job, future, prayer, elections, music, life...pretty good stuff.

I think we all find ourselves at a crossroads at one point or another where it seems the decision isn't crystal clear. This is gonna seem pretty vague (or middle of the road).

Most of the time in life, when we're facing a major decision, it's good to continue on the path we're currently on while we explore the new options.

However, too many times we use that as an excuse and never change things up. We get stuck in the rut of our lives and never progress until the point its (almost) too late.

Looking at what you listed, I know what I'd do. But you're not me. Fight through to discover the path God has for you. And get stronger. Today.

uthpastorjj said...

woops, i didn't realize beth was signed into this thing. that was actually me that wrote it. hehe.

It would have been really awkward had i signed it like i was going to...i was going to say: "I really love you man!)

Seeing that from Beth might have been a little weird!